Beginning of an End...

How does an end begin? And more importantly, when does it begin? Today starts another month, yet for us it is a trivial issue, but all the same; when January starts, the frenzy seems to be a bit irrational, doesnt it?

Human Nature needs reasons to celebrate. But if one has no desire to celebrate, where does one go? The celebrations are just an icon of ones own anguish, and instead of being happy, one gets aggravated. The more others try to involve him, the more he retreats into his own shell.

I am building this story, for i hope to find a new beginning. But every thread i pickup, leads me to the end of my end. But the irony is that i see no end to this. All the castles that i try to rebuild are blown to dust without the slightest of winds. The reason is that, i dont want to live in them, i know where the keystone is, and everytime i try and remove that stone, my entire model bites the dust. What canm you tell a man, who doesnt want to listen. How do you make flame without the fire, and passions without desire?

I have become an elopist is what i think. I just run away in the unending expanse of my imagination, where every other thing takes me back into that time and place. There, where i always want to be, while knowing that it is NOT. I am dreaming a dream inside my dream, and i dont want to let go of it. I dont want to open my eyes. I dont want to exhale, for i fear that the memories too will find a way out. And though they hurt, yet memories are all i have, they are all i can have.

This all reads like a sermon, a prosody to myself, an ode to my psyche. They say, those who cant do, teach! Am i doing the same?